Dinner for One
           
There was nothing Douglas enjoyed about being roommates with Glenn more than their pizza, beer, and ESPN nights. These nights came around more in the summer due to a small baseball obsession, but changed according to whatever sport was in season. Douglas’ job was to buy the beer from Schnucks where he worked his average job. If you asked him, it was mindless work not worth the pay. For now it would be enough to get the beer for the Braves game tonight.

Of course Glenn was late again to get home from work and getting pizza. He was probably with his crazy clingy girlfriend, Shelby, again. Whatever, Douglas was not going to wait for him. He dropped the rest of the beer on the stained blue sofa temporarily serving as the only place to sit in their run-down apartment. He grabbed his laptop, and took a look at his latest fail of a dating profile.

Frantically all the memories of past dates gone wrong raced through his mind. Movies ending in tears. Ice skating rounds ending in loneliness. Dinners eaten alone. A lot like tonight, when Douglas came to think of it. When was Glenn going to get home?

Not more than five minutes later, first Shelby then Glenn came crashing through the front door with too many things in their hands to carry, including Glenn’s much anticipated mushroom double cheese pizza.

“Hey Douglas, have we missed the beginning of the game yet? Me and Shelby have the food. How was work, loser?”
 
Great! Shelby was staying for the game again. Douglas missed the days where it was just the two of the guys hanging out and going out. Now, anytime there was a guy thing going on for the two of them, Shelby was invited.
  
“No, it’s just the pre-game stuff still. You haven’t missed anything other than the usual guy running his mouth about how he thinks we suck, we can’t field a good defense, blah blah blah,” Douglas shouted, still not having moved from the sofa.

Glenn swung his lanky arms around Shelby and watched the TV closely as he kissed her on the forehead, “Douglas, what are you doing on the computer?”

Shelby looked over Douglas’ shoulder and yelled out a little too loudly, “Wow Doug, you’re back on that dating website aren’t you?” Shelby always spoke when not wanted. She just didn’t seem to have the right grasp of when to talk, and when to shut her mouth.

“As a matter of fact, yes I am. I am going to find someone one of these days so that it’s not always me and you guys. You know I hate being the third wheel, and Glenn, Shelby eats from my half of the pizza!” Douglas stood to address Glenn, “I’m changing my profile and I’m going to find love and you two will be jealous and everything will be perfect. Just wait!”

“Yeah Douglas, I don’t have to wait for any of that. I’m not jealous of you sitting on our shitty sofa, needing a computer to get a girl these days,” Glenn laughed more than spoke out loud. He rarely took Douglas seriously, but knew exactly when he should. Their friendship had become more like that of brothers over the years. Shelby was ruining that now though.

“Whatever, I’ll watch the game in my room, meet a girl, fall in love, and see you guys later. Thanks for the pizza!” Douglas yelled, grabbing some beer and his half of the pizza.…

Days had passed, and Douglas was getting ready for his first internet date in a very long time. Then again, Douglas hadn’t had much of any date lately. Hopefully this girl wasn’t like Keney, who in Douglas’ mind was legitimately insane, or Carrie, who would rather run a 100 miles than get somewhere on time. Her name was Shelby, which was a little weird seeing as how he rather hated, well strongly disliked, Glenn’s girlfriend. Dinner and movies: What else could be more simple?

Douglas was already out the door and into his car when Glenn ran outside in nothing but the bathroom robe he had been lounging around in all day. “Good Luck dude, let me know how the movie is, and when you come back, I’ll order pizza or something and you can tell me all about your failed love life.” Glenn always had such encouraging words.

The entire drive there, Douglas’ mind wandered through all the possible sites for his marriage. Nothing too fancy, Douglas didn’t want to have to spend big bucks on this. Nothing outside, his allergies would likely run him towards sneezing right into Stephanie’s face. He was going to marry this internet Stephanie one day, he could already tell. The messages they sent back and forth were too perfect not to marry. She laughed at all of his jokes. She likes baseball. She’s nice, outgoing, perfect, but most importantly soon to be Douglas’.

By the time Douglas got a table, and ordered sodas, it was fifteen minutes past seven. Stephanie was fifteen minutes late for their date. Fifteen minutes, Douglas thought, That’s about the right timing for women arrive fashionably late. Where is this dream girl?

An hour later, no dream girl showed up. Douglas’ hopes were shot. Time to gather up whatever pride was left, and walk away with his tail between his legs from the beautiful girl of his dreams that was apparently never meant to be. “Check!” Terrific. This was a joke. Douglas’ love life was a joke. Guess it was Dominos dinner tonight for one again.



© Katy McAllister

Bio: Katy McAllister is a Creative Writing student at Southeast Missouri State University where she also plays Division 1 softball. She comes from South County St. Louis, and hopes to be a Secondary English teacher someday.